Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Huh?

I just enjoyed my lunch here at work, and managed to survive the humid weather while I browsed the box scores by partaking in a thirst quenching new beverage from Pepsi. This is not in any way shape or form related to Daisuke Matsuzaka, but far too bizarre and quirky to keep to myself.

Pepsi Japan is clearly run by the insane. I know there are certain things that are unique to cultures around the world, including local tastes and seasonings. In India they don't eat beef, so Mickey-D's serves lamb burgers. The Dutch love jars of herring in cream sauce. There are some cultures that eat beetles and grubs. The Japanese love....well........see for yourself:

In case you didn't get a good enough look at that bottle, I will provide you with a closeup view to help your eyes adjust. For those of you who have been drinking, double check this in the morning and you will find that it wasn't a hallucination.

I'm sure some wise soul will point out that Dr. Brown's has been producing a very successful line of soft drinks for year, which not only offers Cream Soda but also the subtle palate of Celery Soda. I like Celery Soda. It's been around for a very long time and has had a chance to work its way into a nice little niche at delis around the NorthEast United States. That's Celery. This is Ice Cucumber. Not just cucumber, but ICE cucumber. You know ICE. It's that made up taste that you can find in Gatorade and Shaving Lotion and Mouthwash and Windshield Wiper Fluid. Combine that with cucumber and you have a surefire hit with the kids. Hell, next I'm going to make Ice Teriyaki Soda and then Ice Beet Juice. Maybe I can market the opposite sensation. FIRE. Kind of a cinnamon spin on the whole thing. I'll be rich. Fire Bacon. Fire Kim Chee. Or, SMOKED. Smoked Chicken with Flavor Crystals........

No wonder Matsuzaka got sick a few starts ago. He was among the focus group for this mess. Someone call Interpol.

Update: My aunt sent me this article from AOL Money News about the product starring in this post. Didn't believe me? Yes, it's terrifyingly true. I'm on the look out for Ice Cauliflower today.

7 Comments:

At 3:12 PM, Blogger Jason said...

I know you don't like celery.......

 
At 7:47 PM, Blogger Mike Plugh said...

Gotta love the celery soda. Dr. Brown's baby. Real celery is garbage. Rabbit food. Celery soda is excellent.

 
At 9:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have spent half my life in Tokyo, and the other in Oklahoma City. I find the beef brisket here in OKC, with some fat on it, taste like "toro" in Tokyo. Mike-san, your "FIRE" drinks sound good. There might be some money in it. Thank you for your blog!

 
At 2:51 AM, Blogger Edwin said...

Really though, are you actually surprised that a product like this came out? I'm sure if I saw it I'd do a double take, but then I'd just laugh about it and go on with my day.

 
At 6:58 AM, Anonymous Tully Moxness said...

Maybe Pepsi will come out with a Ice Kraut juice or Ice Pickle Brine. I love that stuff.

I also think Ben & Jerry's should come out with Japanese style ice creams, like the ones seen on 'Iron Chef'. Mmmm, toro ice cream or a spicy cod roe sorbet - just think of the possibilities!!!!

 
At 3:37 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have an idea

Pop the top. Add a little dill and PRESTO! Pickle Soda!

 
At 11:34 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Having enough gaijin fun laughing at the "inscrutable" Japanese? Doesn't anyone here know about cucumbers and its role in Chinese medicine? Cucumbers are "yin" or negative foods which can lower internal heat during summer and reduce the incident of heat stroke. It cools the body. Japanese long has tradition of eating cucumber and similar foods in the summer. This drink merely put a traditional food in a bottle. And all the gaijins having belly laughs and making up strange drinks. WAHAHA ignorance so funny.

 

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